My family photo collage depicts photos of my grandma (first upper left picture), mom (second picture under my grandmother- she is to the far right with gray hair), dad (he is in the photo directly to the right of my grandmother with my sister on the left, my dad in the middle, and me to the right-he is hugging us), older brother (he is in the bottom left hand picture under my grandma’s picture in the center wearing white standing in between myself and mother) little sister (in picture to the left of my dad and in the second picture under my grandmother-she is first in pic from left to right wearing black with blonde hair), daughter (last picture at the bottom far right leaning her head on me), little brother (he is the first face in the photo above my daughter and me), step-mom and step dad (they are both in the same photo as my little brother- step mom in the center wearing black in between me and my her husband, the one to with the beard and glasses).

From birth to the age of nine, I grew up with two parents in the home. My family consisted of a heteropatriarchal structure with my father at the center. My father is Greek, while my mother is Mexican, so the Spanish language was not spoken in the home. With that being said, we didn’t identify as a Chicano family, however, many of the patriarchal traditions (heterosexuality, masculinity, machismo, domesticity-rigid sociocultural traditions and expectations) persisted in our day-to-day life. Although “Historically, in dual headed households, Chicanas (as well as other women) were relegated to the tasks of homecare and child rearing, while the men took the task of earning the families income” (Trujillo, 190), my family structure differed. My mom had added responsibilities, “the true backbone of the familia” (Trujillo, 189). Both parents were breadwinners; we were a middle class family. My dad was a plumber, and my mother held a white-collar position as supervision at a cake-designing factory in Marina Del Rey, California. We even had a dog, Molly-some thought we were living the American Dream-money, home with a white picket fence, nuclear family with two parents and one boy and two girls, with a male at the center, my dad. In terms of gender roles and expectations, my mother held all the female traditional roles associated with domesticity such as cooking, cleaning, and making sure that my siblings and I, were taken care of. My dad was the patriarch and disciplinarian, who used force when necessary- yes, he used the “belt” on us a few times when we were kids.

A typical day of my life during that time went like this; we wake up, my mom made breakfast, and we all sat at the breakfast table and ate. Of course, my dad the patriarch was the first person, who my mom served at the breakfast table. And, we had to wait until everyone was sitting before we could start eating our meal. We were expected to eat everything on our plate. After breakfast my dad would grab his home-cooked lunch that my mom made the night before, hop in his work truck and hit the road. After asking if we could be excused from the breakfast table, my sis and I would help my mom clear the dining room table and clean the kitchen. While we cleaned up, my older brother would put our backpacks in the car and warm up my mom’s car. After a long day at school, my mom picked my brother, sister, and me up from my grandma’s house-she watched us afterschool. My grandmother (she is in the center of my collage cutting onions), who came to the United States in the late 1940’s, is very traditional-she has adopted the gender norms that reinforce patriarchy in Chicano families. Her life revolved around my grandpa, 10 kids (7 boys and 3 girls), and maintenance of the home. Once she met my grandpa, who passed away when I was two, she took on the stereotypical roles of Mexicanas-the “good wife and mother,” relegated to the domestic sphere, “the backbone of the familia” (Trujillo, 189). Once we got home, my mom started cooking dinner, while my siblings and I did our homework. My sis and I always set the table, so that when my dad came home all my mom had to do was serve our plates. Of course, my dad would not sit at the dinner table until after my brother, myself, or sister would take off his work boots. He literally sat in a recliner chair, while one of us took off his work boots and put them on the front porch. Once my dad sat at the dinner table, my mom would serve him first and we would all eat together. We could not get up from the dinner table without asking to be excused. Life, in our home, at least from what everyone thought, was great. However, my dad’s drinking and drug abuse got so bad that he would come home after work drunk off his ass, excuse my French, and beat my mother. His “machismo, and hyper masculinity, rooted in patriarchy,” (Rodriguez) was out of control. The domestic violence, which consisted of emotional, physical, and verbal abuse, began to get worst. But, because we are “taught to undervalue our needs and voices…and that our opinions, viewpoints, and expertise are considered secondary to those of males” (Trujillo, 192), my mom stayed for the sake of keeping the family together-this perfect little family, in the eyes of others. However, after years of abuse, and finally challenging the patriarchy, she packed up with 3 kids, and never looked back.

By this time I was 9; I had witnessed some pretty heavy stuff for a young child. But, I quickly adjusted to my new family structure, a single parent home. There wasn’t that much adjusting to do except for the fact that my dad’s income was no longer financing our middle class life. We downsized, in terms of our lifestyle, and my mom took on most of the financial responsibilities. But, my sister, brother, and I didn’t mind downsizing. As long as my mom wasn’t getting beat every other weekend, we were all happy. As a single mother my mom sacrificed everything for our happiness-we never went without- “her strength and self sacrifice kept the family going” (Trujillo, 189). She made sure that we had the newest toys, clothes, and most of all, love and support. She attended our baseball and softball games, and never missed our open houses, or parent conferences. However, as my mom took on more and more responsibilities at work, she put my older brother at the center of our household, the patriarch. He was in charge of my sister and I until my mother got home from work. By this time, my sister and I had to make sure our homework was done, along with dinner. My brother’s only responsibility was to take out the trash. We cleaned and did the laundry, his included. Of course, due to his gender, my mom never made him do any housework-neither would my grandmother. Our family adopted the Chicano family structure with the male at the center, a very patriarchal system relegating women to domesticity, giving males the power and control, dominating the family landscape-something that Rodriguez addresses in his book.

As time went on, my mom and dad remarried, so I experienced the step-dad and step-mom family dynamics too. The family structure of the home was still patriarchal, with males at the center-catered to, while the women, my mom and step-mom, held fulltime jobs, in addition to maintaining the responsibilities of the home and children. Not much changed in terms of family dynamics, we couldn’t “Shoot the Patriarchy,” something Rodriguez discusses in his book. Today, my mom and dad are single, and have not remarried. I still have a wonderful bond with my step-mom, my dad’s ex wife, and her new husband. Although most part of my life, I have been conditioned to take on gendered sociocultural traditions that are oppressive, I have been exposed to a more egalitarian family structure. My step-mom and her new husband have stepped away from the patriarchal nature of the Chicano family structure. In their household, they both maintain full time employment; however, when it comes to the domestic sphere, they maintain an egalitarian household. Both of them take turns cooking and cleaning, so they have moved way from the traditional gender roles and expectations. Because he cooks or does laundry, it does not take away from his manhood or masculinity. They do not let the rigid gender roles define the structure of their marriage, family, and home. My little brother has to be one of the best house cleaners in Carson, California. My step mom definitely taught him that he is responsible to help around the house, too (he vacuums, does dishes, laundry, etc.). What they have done is “Shot the patriarchy.” They have moved away from patriarchy, which informs our societal and familial structures, something Rodriguez points out in our book.

In terms of my family structure, it is a heterosexual single parent household-just my daughter and I. Her father is there financially, however, he is not consistent physically or emotionally. Considering this, I feel like I have to be extra influential when it comes to raising my daughter’s feminist conscious. I refuse for her to be a “passive victim of the cultural onslaught of social control…that socializes women to be the good wife or that she is incomplete if she doesn’t become a mother” (Trujillo, 189). Thankfully, I am an educated Chicana feminist and work daily to decolonize my mind. As a result, I am able to give my daughter the tools to help her challenge the patriarchal structure of our society, which perpetuates interlocking systems of oppression (sexism, classism, racism, homophobia, and xenophobia). I am raising my daughter in a way that she will be strong and independent-not a woman who will conform to, and reinforce societal and familial sociocultural traditions and expectations that oppress women. She has already challenged sexist hegemonic ideals, rooted in patriarchy. For example, she and her friends have organized around the issues of the female body directly associated with the dress code at school. Although the dress code still persists, and they can’t wear certain types of blouses, she proved to me that she has already developed a feminist conscious exercising her right to freedom of expression when it comes to the female body and clothing. Already, she demonstrates that she is an agent of the self, and challenges the status quo- my little political feminista.

Needless to say, across time and space, family dynamics change-they are not static, or universal, as Rodriguez points out in his book. Also, gender is not static. Women and men should not be relegated to binary constructs that perpetuate the male/female dichotomy, with rigid gendered characteristics and roles they must ascribe to (male=patriarch and masculine/women=domestic care take who is feminine). We do not have to live by socially ascribed societal and familial traditions and beliefs. We must create a society, which allows people to construct their own reality when it comes to the family unit. We must do away with heteropatriarchy if we want to live by democratic principles, which consist of equality for all.

Families share a kinship that distinct them from others through beliefs systems, values, religion, culture, rules, love, and other. “La Familia” is one of the most important things there is to value especially in a Mexican American family. In the book, Next of Kin: the Family in Chicano/a Culture Politics Richard Rodriguez discussed the issues of family structure in a Chicana/o family and how “la familia, as an organizing principle and symbol for cultural empowerment”(Rodriguez, 20). In my photo collage, I chose six different photographs that illustrates a bit of my family. Throughout the pictures, you can see both my parents Manuel and Paula Castellanos, and also my two older sisters Melissa and Pamela Castellanos along with my “primo/hermano” (cousin/brother) Giancarlos. I also added photo of my dog Missy who is very important in my family and a photo of our culture food. The photographs in the collage describe how my family is composed of mostly women since my two older brothers both died at infancy. My “primo/hermano” is considered as the son they never had since he also grew up with my sisters and I. To me, my family are the most important people I value my in life.

As my sisters and I grew up, we were raised in a bicultural home because both my parents emigrated from two different countries. My father was born in San Salvador, El Salvador while my mother was born in Nayarit, Mexico. As a result, my sister and I grew exposed to both cultures through our parents different but similar culture beliefs and traditions. However, my mother’s Mexican culture had a higher influence in my life than my fathers. Since I was a child, I remember going to Mexico every year throughout my childhood. The Mexican culture dominated in our home especially because my father assimilated to the culture when he married my mother. My parents have been married for over thirty years now. His accent and beliefs shifted from Salvadorian to Mexican. In the photo collage, I decided to add picture of “Tostadas de Carne” which a typical Mexican food that is served in the village where my mother is from in Nayarit, Mexico. As a child, it was difficult for me to identify with Salvadorian because I knew more about the Mexican culture despite my father efforts to input his culture on us. When I came of age, I learned to embrace both cultures. As a result, I identify myself as Chicana/Latina women.

As I previously mentioned, I grew up with both my sisters and my cousin/bother. The photo collage shows a couple of pictures with my siblings and as well of my mother and father. Since kid’s we have maintain a close relationship. While my father was at work, my mother was a stay at home mother for many years. Although my father was very helpful with raising my sisters, my cousin, and I, my mother spent most of the time raisings us. Like many stay at home mothers she cooked, cleaned, washed, and made sure we went to school everyday. In most patriarchy Chicana/o Latina/o families, the women has the typically role of taking care of the family. My mother was one of the many women who followed the typical gender roles that women in a patriarchal culture are force to follow. Even though my father most of the time was helpful with trying to help my mother with cooking, cleaning, or watching over us, most of the hard work was done my mother while my dad worked most of the time.

When my siblings and I grew older, my mother began to work full time. She worked as a domestic worker taking care of children. As a result, she became very independent. She challenges the Chicana/o Latina/o family structure by demonstrating she was an independent women not having to depend on my father all the time. As Marcela Christine Lucero-Trujillo mentions, “machismo is part of culture”: because the males are use to being the dominant leaders. Like in the film, A Crushing Love my mother is a woman that works hard while having to still comes home and continue to handle the family. My father has never liked my mother working full time because he felt challenged with the idea of my mother being independent and did not like that she was not home as often but with time he learned to cope with it.

Furthermore, in one of the picture in the collage, there is a picture of my entire family together at my high school gradation in 2013. In our home, we valued education because my parents were able to provide us with the education they never had growing up in their native countries. With their support and motivation I was able to go on to college and pursue a career to become an educated Chicana/Latina. However, like in most Chicano families my parents implemented rules, traditions, and beliefs for my siblings and I to follow. They made sure for us to follow the rules they told us such as being respectful to everyone and religious beliefs. I was raised in catholic home where my parents made us go to church every Sunday as kids. Since my family is mostly composed of females, our parents were very protective with us because they wanted us to be safe and protect us from all harm. Despite the family structured challenges, every family shares different dynamics, social, and culture issues within themselves. In Chicana/o Latina/o families constantly have to deal with the obstacles of living in a patriarchal ideologies and gender structures family. My photo collage demonstrates how my family is the most important thing in my life including the picture of my dog Missy who is also a big part of my family. Although my family may have some challenges among them, they continue to be what I value most in life because family is forever.

There are four photos in the photo collage I created. In the top left there is a picture of my parents and I. My father is the man in the middle his name is Braulio Auroza, and my mother is Maria Luisa Plata. On the bottom of the picture with my parents there is a picture of a typical dish “Mole”, which is very well know in Puebla, Mexico where my parents migrated from. On the top right corner there is a picture of one of my cousins whom I consider as a brother to me his name is Miguel Auroza. In the bottom of that picture there is a picture of the main plaza in Atlixco the small city where my parents are from in Puebla. I chose these four pictures because they are the meaning of the love I have for my culture and family.

In our culture we are influenced by machismo, and the way men treat women. As stated in the poem Machismo is Part of our Culture, the man is always the one that says what is to be done, and he is the “patron” at home. However, in my family it is 50/50. My father acts like a machista in some sense because he expects my mother to always have the food ready when he is hungry. My father grew up at a home where he saw my grandmother Matilde always being submissive to my grandfather Jose. My grandmother suffered a lot of domestic violence with my grandfather. Whenever my grandfather would dislike a certain food he would throw it, and make my grandma cook something else. On the other hand, my father is very understanding, and also contributes to chores around the house for example my mother no longer does laundry because my father takes care of that. He does not treat my mother the way he saw my grandfather disrespect my grandmother. In some form my father is pushing away from the “machismo is part of culture”, and making it equal amongst him, and my mother.

My cousin Miguel and I are very close with each other. Since I am an only child he is the person who has seen me grow up, and gives me advice as if I were his little sister. Whenever I talk about him to any one I refer to him as my brother because he is very valuable to me. In the book Next of Kin, we have been reading a lot about the importance of family unity within La Raza. The idea of “la familia” and the importance of being united is very important within the Chicana/o community. I admire my cousin because although he is not a legal U.S citizen he has worked double to earn what he has obtained. He is working hard to obtain his GED, and always opens new doors for himself. He never gives up even when things don’t go in his favor. Also mentioned in Next of Kin “La Familia” is very important within movements. To me my cousin is what keeps me motivated in school. Not only do I want to make my parents proud, but also since I have the privilege to pursue a higher education I want my cousin to be proud and reflect himself in me. We both keep each other going, and push one another for success.

Mole is a very important principle in my culture. In Puebla, Mexico it is a very typical dish that many people request. Whenever there is a family celebration, or a holiday like Christmas my mother and tias always prepare the Mole from scratch. My mother also makes it for Dia de los Muertos. As mentioned in the article Decoding The Food And Drink On A Day Of The Dead there are many things that can be placed in the altar. My mother always makes Mole during this time and then places it on the altar we create for my Grandmother Matilde that passed away. For my culture and family on Dia de los Muertos we place the favorite dish from the person that passed away followed by fruit, and bread. Also the drink they enjoyed the most. My grandmother was the one that gave my mother the Mole recipe before she passed, therefore, my mother and tias always cherish her by making Mole in her honor. Lastly I placed the picture of the Xocalo de Atlixco because every time I go to Mexico I always enjoy going to this place it is a very vibrant location surrounded by many flowers. Atlixco Puebla, Mexico is very well known as Atlixco de las Flores, because there are a lot of flowers that grow there. I also enjoy this place because people are able to express their love for the Mexican culture in a liberal way. In the United States we are unable to demonstrate our Mexican pride. Going back to the Next of Kin Chapter 3 the Chicano culture is not recognized or appreciated in the U.S, and is very much hidden. In Atlixco individuals are greatly recognized no matter what they are not seen less than anyone, even tourist feel accepted. Everyone feels welcomed whether they live there or not.

For the first picture of my collage I chose a picture of my family on our trip to San Francisco a year ago. I chose this picture because it was the first major trip my family has ever taken together. I feel that I needed to add this picture to my collage because this trip was a major event in my life. Not only was it the first trip that my extended family ever took together, it was also the graduation of my cousin from art school. I think this relates to cultural factors. One of the cultural factors that I think that the picture conveys is unity. Richard T. Rodríguez explains that Chicano/a families are known for “embracing a family principle as a modality of unity” (98).  The picture conveys unity because it is a representation of my family together. The trip served as a way to bring my family together and make us more united. Chicano/a culture puts an emphasis on the family being united. I think that the picture also conveys the support that a family is supposed to give to its members. This is conveyed because the reasoning behind the picture was that my family was there to support my cousin on his graduation. The first picture of my collage conveys the cultural factors of unity and family support.

For the second picture of my collage, which is found in the right hand corner, I chose a picture of my Mom. I chose this picture because my Mom is the most important woman in my life. She has taught me a lot and continues to teach me even more as I get older. I chose a picture of my Mom because she was the first person to ever present the idea of machismo and its negative effects to me. Machismo is a problem faced by many Chicano/a families. Machismo is defined by Richard T. Rodríguez in Next of Kin as “a term most frequently used within Chicano and Latino context to imply manhood, or masculinity” (43). She introduced the concept of machismo and its negative effects on women to me through personal stories. She has told me many stories of her own struggles with machismo. She was faced with machismo because of her two older brothers. In Mexico, they would mistreat her and show their dominance over her. She basically served as their maid. She washed their clothes, made them food, and cleaned up after them. In a lot of families machismo is faced by the all the women and the mother does not do anything to bring it to an end. This is the situation my Mom was in. My Grandma witnessed a lot of the machismo but did not step in to intervene. She was not affected by the machismo because the machistas were her sons, not her husband. My Mom’s struggles served to convey a message to me. Growing up with a younger sister I never expressed any type of machismo attitudes towards her. After hearing my Mom’s stories I could never let machismo be a part of the relationship between my sister and I. My Mom’s stories served as a way to realize that machismo is not correct and it can ruin a person’s life. I am extremely thankful that at an early age my Mom taught me that machismo is not acceptable. I grew up with the idea that I should not expect a woman to do everything for. My Mother made it clear to me that being a male doesn’t automatically means that everything should be handed to me. I chose this picture for my collage because my Mom is the reason why I reject machismo and do not agree with a machista ideology.

For my third picture, which is found on the bottom left corner, I chose a picture of my cousins and I. I chose this picture because growing up my two older cousins served as guides in my life. I have always looked up to them and seen them as guides to how I should live my life. I learned from my cousins how not to fall into machismo. My cousins have always been very independent. They have never thought that things should be handed to them because they are males. By not relying on women to do things for them, they negated one of the effects of machismo. This relates to a statement that is brought up by Cherríe Moraga in Queer Aztlán. The statement is “On some level, our brothers-gay and straight-have got to give up being “men.” I don’t mean give up their genitals, their unique expression of desire, or the rich and intimate manner in which men can bond together. Men have to give up their subscription to male superiority” (233). I believe that my cousins do not subscribe to the idea of male superiority. By doing this my cousins had a great influence on me. The idea brought up in the quote is an exact representation of the way they are. An example of not relying on male superiority can be seen whenever we have family dinners. They never sit at a table and expect food to be served to them. They always make their own plates and wash their dishes after. This isn’t a major thing but it was the smallest details that have had the biggest impact on me. I also learned from my cousins that women deserve the same respect as everyone else and no one should be disrespected. In machismo, men tend to disrespect women and make them feel as if they are less. I can say that in my life I have never seen my cousins disrespect women. They have always treated everyone with respect and I have never seen them be disrespectful on purpose. Machismo presents the idea that women should be disrespected but my cousins taught me that everyone should be respected. I chose a picture of my cousins because by growing up with them I learned to go against machismo since they never displayed characteristics of machismo.

For my fourth picture, which is found in the bottom right hand corner, I chose a picture of my Grandma. I chose a picture of my Grandma because she is the one who raised everyone in my family. Not only did she raise all her children, she played a role in raising all her grandchildren. My Grandma is an example of a woman going against a patriarchal system. In a system of patriarchy, the father runs the family and is the one in control. In my family, the patriarchy was disrupted because my Grandma was the head of the household. My Grandfather passed away a long time ago in Mexico and my Grandma was forced to provide for the family. She raised 7 children, 3 daughters and 4 sons, on her own. My Grandma raised her children in a system opposite of patriarchy. She went against patriarchy in a country where patriarchy is found in almost every family. My Grandma went against one of the ideas that is brought up in Next of Kin which is that “womanhood is conceivable only as part of the symbolic principle informing machismo as guideline for the conduct of family life, male-female relationships, and personal self-esteem” (44).  She chose to provide for her children herself and never turn to a man for help. I see my Grandma as an inspiration because of this. Her decisions show that a patriarchal system can be overcome and a woman can separate herself from the idea of needing a male to provide for them. Not only is my Grandma an example of a woman going against a patriarchal system, she is also the one that brings unity to my entire family. My Grandma serves as the force that brings my family together. As long as I can remember, my Grandma has been the reason for my family coming together. Whether it’s a holiday or just a normal Sunday afternoon, my family always comes to together at my Grandma’s home. Like stated before unity is a major part of Chicano/a family structure. I chose this picture of my Grandma because she is the uniting factor of my family and she is the one who showed me that a patriarchal system can be overcome.

On May 16, 1989 both of my parents came from Guerrero , Mexico to the city of Inglewood to provide two of my older siblings a better life. Two years later I was born November 9, 1991. And later, two other siblings were born, a total of five siblings. Throughout our entire life we were taught that family was very important. My father would have a quote that he liked to remind us with every day about the unity in family. He would tell us that families were like a stack of twigs, if your try to break one at a time it is very easy, however if you grab a bunch of twigs and tried to break them all at once it is more difficult.

In the past my family was extremely traditional. My  family was a very machista family. My father was the decision maker, the rule setter and the boss of the house, while my mother stayed home to take care of us. In my family we would also go to catholic church on Sundays, celebrate birthdays, Quinceaneras and other Mexican traditional holidays. Quinseaneras were a big thing for our family. A quinseanera is when a girl turns fifteen and signifies the transformation of a young girl to a young lady. This celebration is very important for parents as well as the girl . Celebrations like this involve lots of food, lots of family and lots of dancing.

My family is made up of big Soccer fans. We are very lucky and honored to be “Americanistas”. When America is in a soccer match, you better bet there will be carne azada, and some drinks. My father gets very dramatic when watching these soccer matches and we love to make him company during this time. We join him when he’s screaming out his lungs when our team makes a goal.  My father owns about 25 America Jersey, all that were given to him on one of his birthdays. Because of my father’s great passion for soccer, I have developed a soccer passion as well. I began playing soccer at the age of thirteen and I have played ever since. Today I play soccer three times a week . And go watch my fiancé place soccer on Sundays.

Today it is a bit more difficult to keep the family together. My oldest sister is a single mother of three children. My older brother is separated from his wife and his four children, and is suffering from depression today. My parents have also separated, and my family is no longer the united family we were once. Women in my family are no longer tolerable of the machista lifestyles we were taught to live as children. The women in my family no longer wanted to follow rules and live their lives satisfying the men, and living an un-happy life.

Today my father lives in Arvin, California a small town just before Bakersfield, where he works in the grape and peach fields. My father re married and took my youngest sister with him. My siblings and I still go visit them at least three times a month, especially during important soccer matches. Although we far from each other we try to keep in touch as often as possible. I like to keep myself updated about my youngest sister, who I encourage to stay in school.

Even though my older siblings are separated from their partners, we still manage to get together for birthday celebrations, and special occasions such as Christmas and thanksgiving. The day my father left, my family broke apart. Although my dad was very strict and had a strong personality and character, he managed to keep the family as close as possible. However not every story has a happily ever after, my parents no longer wanted to be with each other and that was a decision that even though involved all us, was a decision to be respected by all of my siblings.

Being the middle child I also have had the privilege to learn from my older siblings mistakes and, I am blessed to have family member that advise me about making decisions in life. Being able to watch my seven nieces and nephews grow has taught me the importance of a father and a mother being present in a child’s life. But as a middle child I also have to make sure I am setting the right example to my younger siblings who look up to me.

A year ago my family also grew a bit. I got engaged to a man whose family lives in Las Vegas , Nevada. His family has also become my family, and we also go to Vegas at least once a month to spend time with his family.

My fiancé and I have our small little apartment in Los Angeles and we love to bring our families together and just enjoy each other’s presence. We talk often about how important family is, and we try our best to bring tradition back into the family. Although we find it difficult at times . We are a bog family, all in different places, but we love each other to death and that’s all that really matters at the end

The story begins between the years of 1980 and 1981 with a picture of my mother. My father and my mother’s uncle Sope had worked together for the same trash company. Sope had a picture of my mom and my dad said he would give him five dollars for it but Sope responded with “No, cómo crees.” The conversation about the picture ended there and one day during their lunch Sope goes up to my dad and says “I’ll sell you the picture” I should mention Sope loved to smoke but he did not have a single dollar that day and needed his cigarettes, and so my father said “Okay” and he finally got his picture. About a year or two later after selling the picture Sope was to get married and wanted my mother to come out in it, my grandfather agreed, however, she could not come out with the boyfriend that she was dating at the time. Sope said not to worry that he knew of someone that could come out in it. Three days before the wedding the wedding party met and rehearsed for the big day and my mother walked in and saw my father and thought “Him! I’m going to marry him” that following night my mother met with her boyfriend and told him that she was breaking up with him because the guy that she was coming out with in the wedding is extremely good looking and nice and she wants to see if anything can happen between them. And the rest after that night turns into spending thirty-five years together. In my collage there is a recent picture of my parents in Mexico where every summer and any vacation time is spent.

A year after they were married their first born comes along, a boy Rafael Jr. or Ralph as we like to call him. Three years after their first born comes their second child, a girl Paola or Polly as we like to call her and then nine years after being told they could no longer have children here I come as their third child with no nickname just Mayra. About a year after I was born, a dog named Lady comes along and grows with us for the next eighteen years. Within the collage I have placed a picture of Lady whom I grew up with and was definitely part of the family as she got disciplined, loved, and joked with just as much as my siblings and I did. Next to the picture of Lady and I is a picture of our puppy now her name is Peaches. My sister and I see Peaches more as for the next generation; meaning my nephews and niece may possibly create similar responsibilities and memories as we did with Lady.

When I think back to my childhood, various memories begin to float around beginning with the different family vacations, like the picture of my parents mentioned above, at Disneyland, going to the snow, to weeks on the beach or pool and more. I also think of Saturday mornings when my mom would be baking, my dad showing my brother how to cut the yard with Lady running around, my sister cleaning the bathroom and me floating around to help whoever needed me at the moment. My two nephews, Julian and Oliver are also show in the picture both resembling what my each person in this family has taught them to be themselves, have fun and to love. Recently, my brother and their mother separated and although it has been difficult on my brother it has been extremely difficult on my nephews with the change and having to understand that mommy and daddy don’t love each other anymore. This picture of them means a lot because when it was taken it was during the first family trip without her and not once did they show sadness of the situation but had fun and enjoyed the trip. My niece, Elia, is also in the collage with her parents my sister and her husband on her first birthday this past June and this day was a celebration for us all because she was premature baby who stayed in the NICU for three days and had the possibility of being born a stillborn.

At a glance within the family many could possibly say there had been gender roles in our family and as I got older I started to believe it too. In our childhood my sister and I were taught to clean the house, learn to cook, iron, and basically how to care of the household and then I had noticed my brother was always taught the hands on stuff for outside like: the yard work, anything that had to do with machinery, how to build and to provide. But, then in one of the many arguments that had occurred I mentioned this to my mom and she responded with they did not have us in gender roles because they taught all of us the same things. My brother was taught how to cook, how to clean and iron just before I had been big enough to really understand. When my sister would get bored she was outside learning to cut the yard and doing different building activities with my dad. As for me I would just watch certain things that I wasn’t interested in or I had already known how to do, I just never paid attention because I was too busy complaining that the other sibling did not have to do it. She said what they taught us wasn’t the exact same way as to how they taught the other but the lesson sure was taught because “they are not going to be eternal and we have to know how to take care of ourselves” (Rosa Murillo, every time we ask her to do it).

Within the readings that we have done from the semester I strongly believe that El Plan de Aztlán relates to my family because throughout the ups and downs that have occurred in the many accidents that could have killed my father, the arguments between siblings, with parents or significant other, or separations, financial reasons, etc. we have stayed as one family that sticks up for the other. Within El Plan there are written organization roles which most would been seen within my family, for example, unity, education, cultural and self -defense. My parents and especially my siblings have always told me to stick up for myself to never let anyone walk over me and whether I’m in the right or wrong they have defended me many times when someone would try to verbally attack me. We don’t leave anybody behind and El Plan is a written bondage for the Chicano people and I believe that my family has an unwritten bondage that not many families are lucky to have. I also believe the poems by Marcela Christine Lucero-Trujillo can relate to my family because she speaks on machismo in the first poem and in the second she speaks on assimilation and what Chicanos are told and the total opposite that happens. These poems relate to what my parents raised us on and has become even a bigger topic discussed as we get older to always love ourselves, be ourselves, never try change anyone, to accept and never forget our culture and how beautiful it is. Accepting ourselves ties into the podcast of “Mala Mala: More than a Trans’ Fairytale” because as hard as something “nontraditional” can be for my family they accept and encourage who we are because trying to be someone else can sometimes lead to harm because of how uncomfortable it is. In the podcast they talk about being you and that nobody else’s opinion about you matters.

The one person I have yet to mention that is in my collage is my brother in law, Chuy, his family are our neighbors in Mexico and because I have an uncle who lives by himself Chuy’s family helps look after him. Chuy has been part of my family longer than I have but it was not until three years ago that it was official and when he was able to come over to the U.S. He’s helped mold what our family is today as he shares his family values and keeps us connected with our culture when he tells us stories. The Murillo bunch is far from perfect and is constantly overcoming different obstacles but we also experience wonderful blessings. To think it all began with a picture, which is in the middle of the collage, it’s pretty crazy but if you ask my dad where that five dollar picture is he’d say it’s in his wallet right on top of the many pictures of his grandchildren and children.

Aside from my education, my family is the most important aspect of my life. My family is everything to me and my life has always been family-oriented. While I grew up, my family would eat together, go to the movies together, and would squeeze on the couch to watch television together. However, unfortunately, when I turned fourteen years old, my family suffered a few setbacks which has changed our family dynamic drastically. My family consists of my mom, step-dad, sister, and brother. Both my parents (including my biological father) are from Guatemala. While my mom has been fortunate to have had the opportunity have had papers, my step-dad did not. Although marriage could have changed this dilemma, my step-dad and mom did not get married until after my step-dad got deported. His deportation caused a strain in my family, and things have not been the same since.

After my step-dad’s deportation, my family endured a lot of hardships. During this time, my mom had to take over my step-dad’s position of the head of the household. As my step-dad was in Guatemala figuring out ways to come back to the United States, my family transitioned from a heteropatriarchy to a “woman family,” similar to what Lorna Dee Cervantes refers to in her poem, “Beneath the Shadow of the Freeway,” even though my brother has been a part of the family. My mom became what the women in Cervantes’s poem ended up becoming within the Chicano, or Latino, family. My mom had no choice but to take on the traditional male role in the traditional Latino family. By taking over my step-dad’s duties, my mother was able to eliminate the machismo embedded in “la familia,” while my step-dad was away, and my family was no longer a heteropatriarchy.

Since my family spent twelve years without my step-dad in the picture, he literally has not been in in the picture, or pictures. The pictures I specifically chose to include in my collage do not have any trace of my step-dad. However, I do not know whether I did this subconsciously or not; yet, I actually do not have many photos of my complete family. I believe that I probably did this as a way to demonstrate how comfortable I have become with having my mom be the head of the household in my family. In fact, the only males seen in the photos that make up my collage are my brother and grandfather. Consequently, these males do not exert the kind of machismo that Richard Rodriguez asserts in his text, Next of Kin, which conditions men as dominant and women as submissive. In other words, my family ends up contradiction Rodriguez’s description of the traditional and appropriate family structure. Thus, my family could be seen as being “anti-familia” since my mom is able to have a voice of her own in my family without a man undervaluing her.

Although my family is not traditional, based on the criteria that the nuclear Chicano family exemplifies, my family is traditional in terms of our Guatemalan culture. Expressing and discussing my cultural roots is extremely important to me because, unfortunately, my skin color does not emphasize my true ethnicity. As my photos demonstrate, I have a light complexion, and even though not all Latinos are dark, I still feel ashamed that my outer appearance does not show my Latina roots. For this reason, a photo of Antigua Guatemala (shown on the lower left-hand corner) is included in my collage. I decided to not include a picture of the Guatemalan flag because Guatemala is more than its flag. Guatemala is such a beautiful country, and so, I wanted to display its beauty by adding a photo of one of its well-known features.

Compared to the Mexican culture, the Guatemalan culture does not have too many traditions. Nevertheless, my family still embraces the culture. In fact, my mom has always made Guatemalan dishes and we have always celebrated the holidays in the Guatemalan fashion. This includes having traditional Guatemalan tamales on Christmas Eve. This tradition is what I look forward to all year long, which is why I added a meme photo (shown on the upper right-hand corner) joking about eating too many tamales. Consequently, I realized after posting my collage that this very picture expresses one of the many stereotypes against Latinos regarding eating a lot of tamales. Not only does the picture pokes fun, but it does it in an offensive way by having a Caucasian girl demonstrating this joke/stereotype visually. Although this meme is not the kind of stereotype Rodriguez’s discusses in his text, it still fulfills the Latino stereotype due to it being offensive in light of it being simply a joke. Regardless, my intention was to demonstrate my humor, which I share along with my family.

Overall, I appreciate my family, and I embrace my culture and my familial traditions. Even though my family would not fit the “la familia” mold, it is still an example of a Latino family, only a modern one. I am glad I was able to grow up in a family where a woman is the superior one as opposed to a man because, now, I have better expectations of the kind of family I wish to have in the future.

In the book, “Next of Kin”, by Richard Rodrigues, he talks about the Chicano/a family and also the structure of the family within a household. In his book Rodrigues analyzes kinship, and the family by explaining the structure between heteronormative and patriarchal discourses. In my collage, posted on the blog, I posted pictures of my family and I, because these pictures connected to the family structure discussed in Rodrigues book. My family is a traditional Mexican Family. My father came from a town called Tepatitlan in the state of Jalisco in Mexico. My father, Alfonso D. Herrera, was the fourth child out of twelve, from his siblings. My father was very attached to his mother, which is my grandmother due to my grandfather not always being there due to his infidelity. My grandfather was the worse father to my dad. My grandfather would tell my father that he was no good and a “nobody” so my dad wanted to prove his dad wrong, and at the age of 17 my father migrated to the United States of America to have a better life. Through the hardships with my dad’s father, my father said he learned how to become a better father than his father was to him and his siblings. In his family, they had a patriarchal structure and my grandmother was the one who was maintaining the house and taking care of the kids.

My grandfather had that “machismo” in him and he thought he was superior then my grandmother. He would beat my grandmother and still expect her to have the food ready when he got home. My father’s family was very poor, and the money my grandfather had he gave away to strangers, knowing that his own family was in need and was very bad economically. Unfortunately, my father did grow up with “Machismo” within his family structure and my sisters and I now have to live in a patriarchal system due to the family values implemented to him with his own family.

My mom, Silvia Cano (Herrera), came from Mexico as well but from a different state than my father. My mother was from Jacona, Michoacán. Jacona is a very small city in the state of Michoacán, but it was in the city so my mom was a city girl. My mom grew up without a father, due to my grandfather coming to America and finding another lady and had kids with her. My grandfather abandoned his wife and his six kids. My mother was the second oldest which made her drop out of school in the 3^rd grade, because she needed to help my grandmother care for her siblings and help her do chores around the house. My mother was basically a mother to my aunt and uncles. My mother played a major role in their family, and was the head of the household since my grandfather abandoned them. My grandmother talks about him being a drunk and also wanting to picks fights with her and basically abusing her and forcing her to have sex. This also connects to my father’s story and to the readings we have been doing in the course. In his book, Rodrigues states, “Even if machismo and dominant patterns of masculinity are not one and the same thing, both ultimately affect members of the Chicano family” (Rodrigues, Pg.53). I can agree with his statement because machismo has played a big part in both of my parents families, and to this day I do see that Machismo and patriarchal structure in our family.

My parents married in 1981. My parents had four children together, which were Adriana, Alejandra, Aide, and Amy, which are all in my photo collage. Their children being all girls. My parents were very strict with all of us and made us understand that our gender did matter. To this day, gender roles do apply to our family and I do see patriarchy there. I say patriarchy because if I was a male my father would let me do many things that he does not let me do because I am a woman. An example would be staying out too late with my boyfriend. To this day, my father gets upset if I stay out longer than 12AM because he says I am a girl and girls should not do that because that is not lady like and others might view me as a “slut” or a “whore” and might take advantage of me. I take that very offensively because I do not understand why it would be okay to do that if I were a male instead of a female. This brings me to my dad being very macho and very in tune with his male dominance and having that “machismo” still in him. In his book, Rodrigues illustrates, “…given the fact that dominant masculinities have typically managed the way the family is constituted and enacted, if women and queers are to retain la familia and other kinship-based bonds as useful organizational categories…” (Rodrigues, Pg.14). I can connect to Rodrigues statement because I asked my dad if he would support me if I were ever to come out to him and my family as a “Lesbian” his answer was not what I expected it to be. He answered, “I would not be okay with that. None of my children will ever be gay. I would rather have you be a “whore” than a “Lesbian”. I was star stuck by his answer because I thought he would be supportive as a father and not fall into the regular gender roles society expects it to be. So now I know that being gay/lesbian would not be okay in my family and would not be acceptable. My father believes a man should be with a woman and a woman should be with a man so they can reproduce, which is the norm. This makes me think about gender dynamics and gender roles. It also made me think about how traditional my father is and how that is the way he was brought up to be, being that his father was a head strong male dominant figure in his life. Besides the disagreements I have with my parents, I still love them too death and I do understand where they come from and how they were brought out to be. I understand that the only reason why my dad is the way he is, is because he wants the best for his children and he wants to give them what he did not have.