In the book, “Next of Kin”, by Richard Rodrigues, he talks about the Chicano/a family and also the structure of the family within a household. In his book Rodrigues analyzes kinship, and the family by explaining the structure between heteronormative and patriarchal discourses. In my collage, posted on the blog, I posted pictures of my family and I, because these pictures connected to the family structure discussed in Rodrigues book. My family is a traditional Mexican Family. My father came from a town called Tepatitlan in the state of Jalisco in Mexico. My father, Alfonso D. Herrera, was the fourth child out of twelve, from his siblings. My father was very attached to his mother, which is my grandmother due to my grandfather not always being there due to his infidelity. My grandfather was the worse father to my dad. My grandfather would tell my father that he was no good and a “nobody” so my dad wanted to prove his dad wrong, and at the age of 17 my father migrated to the United States of America to have a better life. Through the hardships with my dad’s father, my father said he learned how to become a better father than his father was to him and his siblings. In his family, they had a patriarchal structure and my grandmother was the one who was maintaining the house and taking care of the kids.

My grandfather had that “machismo” in him and he thought he was superior then my grandmother. He would beat my grandmother and still expect her to have the food ready when he got home. My father’s family was very poor, and the money my grandfather had he gave away to strangers, knowing that his own family was in need and was very bad economically. Unfortunately, my father did grow up with “Machismo” within his family structure and my sisters and I now have to live in a patriarchal system due to the family values implemented to him with his own family.

My mom, Silvia Cano (Herrera), came from Mexico as well but from a different state than my father. My mother was from Jacona, Michoacán. Jacona is a very small city in the state of Michoacán, but it was in the city so my mom was a city girl. My mom grew up without a father, due to my grandfather coming to America and finding another lady and had kids with her. My grandfather abandoned his wife and his six kids. My mother was the second oldest which made her drop out of school in the 3^rd grade, because she needed to help my grandmother care for her siblings and help her do chores around the house. My mother was basically a mother to my aunt and uncles. My mother played a major role in their family, and was the head of the household since my grandfather abandoned them. My grandmother talks about him being a drunk and also wanting to picks fights with her and basically abusing her and forcing her to have sex. This also connects to my father’s story and to the readings we have been doing in the course. In his book, Rodrigues states, “Even if machismo and dominant patterns of masculinity are not one and the same thing, both ultimately affect members of the Chicano family” (Rodrigues, Pg.53). I can agree with his statement because machismo has played a big part in both of my parents families, and to this day I do see that Machismo and patriarchal structure in our family.

My parents married in 1981. My parents had four children together, which were Adriana, Alejandra, Aide, and Amy, which are all in my photo collage. Their children being all girls. My parents were very strict with all of us and made us understand that our gender did matter. To this day, gender roles do apply to our family and I do see patriarchy there. I say patriarchy because if I was a male my father would let me do many things that he does not let me do because I am a woman. An example would be staying out too late with my boyfriend. To this day, my father gets upset if I stay out longer than 12AM because he says I am a girl and girls should not do that because that is not lady like and others might view me as a “slut” or a “whore” and might take advantage of me. I take that very offensively because I do not understand why it would be okay to do that if I were a male instead of a female. This brings me to my dad being very macho and very in tune with his male dominance and having that “machismo” still in him. In his book, Rodrigues illustrates, “…given the fact that dominant masculinities have typically managed the way the family is constituted and enacted, if women and queers are to retain la familia and other kinship-based bonds as useful organizational categories…” (Rodrigues, Pg.14). I can connect to Rodrigues statement because I asked my dad if he would support me if I were ever to come out to him and my family as a “Lesbian” his answer was not what I expected it to be. He answered, “I would not be okay with that. None of my children will ever be gay. I would rather have you be a “whore” than a “Lesbian”. I was star stuck by his answer because I thought he would be supportive as a father and not fall into the regular gender roles society expects it to be. So now I know that being gay/lesbian would not be okay in my family and would not be acceptable. My father believes a man should be with a woman and a woman should be with a man so they can reproduce, which is the norm. This makes me think about gender dynamics and gender roles. It also made me think about how traditional my father is and how that is the way he was brought up to be, being that his father was a head strong male dominant figure in his life. Besides the disagreements I have with my parents, I still love them too death and I do understand where they come from and how they were brought out to be. I understand that the only reason why my dad is the way he is, is because he wants the best for his children and he wants to give them what he did not have.