Hello everyone I’m esmeralda. I have taken Chicano/a studies courses in the past and have found them very interesting. I am taking this one for personal growth. I want to note that although I am proud to consider myself a Chicana it has not always been easy for me. Like most of CSUDH students, it is a big sacrifice to be here with you today but I keep pushing myself as a form of personal resistance. I feel that just recently I have been able to find some clarity in life. Growing up my life was marked by stress of extremes and now I push myself to compromise and find self acceptance. One vivid memory I have of these extremes is in relation to my skin color. On my mother’s side of the family everyone is a fair skinned whereas my dad’s side of the family is quite tanned. Growing up my I had aunts from my mother’s side who constantly made distasteful comments about my dark complexion. As a child I had no idea how to process this, and wouldn’t dare disrespect my aunts and stand up for myself, so with time I became very ashamed about my dark skin. For many years I suffered from depression and avoided sun exposure at all costs. In the heat of summer I would wear long sleeve shirts and pants to “protect” my skin from the sun. I also tried as much as possible to stay indoors. It wasn’t until I saw a picture of myself that I was startled to see my yellowish complexion that I finally gave up! At that point I remember this incredible sense of frustration and disappointment. It was after many years of mental health services (I don’t want to give off the wrong impression that the color of my skin the only reason I suffered from depression, it was a combination of several issues) that I was finally able to come to terms with who I am and I am glad to say that I was finally able to speak up for myself and my children, now when or if my aunts make a distasteful comment about my complexion of the complexion of my children I rather rudely remind them that having white skin is not a talent and I affirm myself and my kids by saying that I love our darker complexion I let them know it is very beautiful. I even joke with them by asking: when you go buy a roasted chicken what would you rather get a pale chicken or a golden brown chicken?