Author Archives: aherrera95

Altar Final Project

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“Te Amo Mas Que Me Vida”

URL of Altar: https://flipagram.com/f/y3sJ6w9JYO

            The alter I created is for my beloved uncle, Ricardo Cano Zamora, who has passed on two years ago. His death impacted my life and my family’s lives because he was very important to us in many ways. My uncle, Ricardo, is my mother’s oldest brother. My mother treated him like her son because when they were very young, their father walked out of their lives. So my uncle was always around me and my sisters. He was like a second father to us because he gave us a lot of love and time. My uncle never got married or had kids, so we were like his children.

Throughout my uncle’s life, he had to deal with poverty, alcoholism, and drugs. My uncle had a tough outlook in life and was always struggling with his drug and alcohol addiction. Although, my uncle was an alcoholic and was addicted to drugs, he never brought that lifestyle to me and my sisters. He kept that very private, but of course, my mother knew and her family members. Once, my sisters and I got older, we started to understand why he was in jail for so many years and why he got addicted to alcohol and drugs.

I decided to create an altar to honor his life and his death, because despite all his flaws, I loved him very much and he was very important to me and my family. My uncle was my hero and without him I feel incomplete. My uncle was very important and significant to me because despite him being all crazy into his addictions, he was always loveable with my sisters and I. My uncle loved us unconditionally, and so did we. My uncle was the black sheep of his family and he did not follow the traditional Chicano/a family structure. My uncle was a drunk and drug addict, which pushed many individuals away from him because to them he was not “normal”, or “he needed help”. But yet, no one offered to help him, only my mother.

After he was out of jail, he got deported back to Mexico, so I did not always have the chance to see him. I would only see him when I would go to visit for vacation. It was hard being away from him, but I knew that there was not much I can do. Throughout his years living in Mexico, he started to become ill and never went to the doctor. All he would say was that he was fine and it was just a cold. My uncle was a very brave person and did not like any of us worrying about him. His lack of not taking care of himself put him a rough situation. In his last days of being alive, he finally went to the doctor but it was too late. The doctor had diagnosed him with Hepatitis C and the sickness was advanced. They gave him three days of life, so my family and I rushed to Mexico within the next day but it was too late. Later that night, he had passed away and we were barely heading over to Mexico.

Before he died, he became very religious and gave himself to God, so he became clean and did not do drugs or drink alcohol. He was a man of the Lord and he was very into going to church and devoted to God. So in the altar I created, I placed all religious items like the bible, in which he loved. My uncle also loved to smoke cigarettes so I placed one cigarette for him because it was something he enjoyed to do. I put many of him pictures and pictures that my family had with him. I put holy water and placed bread for him as well. Overall, my altar included religious beliefs like rosaries, bibles, picture of saints and god, flowers, and holy water, because before passing away, my uncle devoted his time to being into all religious practices.

One of my favorite items in the altar I created for him was, his picture, because it made the altar relevant and his face in the picture looks like it is lit up and happy. I set his picture in a frame and centered it in the middle of the table and then added all the other items around his picture. My second favorite item is the bible I set right next to his picture. The bible is an important and significant item in the altar because my uncle was a son of God and God had forgave him for all of my uncle’s sins. The bible is an important item in our family as well so it was important for me to place it in his altar. The third item I placed in his altar is a cigarette, like I stated before, my uncle loved to smoke cigarettes on his free time so it was an important item to be placed in his altar. I am pretty sure he was happy I placed his favorite hobby in his altar.

The fourth item I placed in his altar is a cellphone. Why a cellphone you may ask? Well, my uncle loved to be on his phone and be on social media, listen to music, and play games on his phone. I know the cellphone kept him alive for a couple of months so that is why the cellphone was a significant item in his altar. Before he passed away, he had told me that his cellphone was not working so I was going to buy him a new one so I can take it to him when I visited him. But unfortunately, I did not make it in time and it was just a thought which is why I was so upset and I had to add a cellphone in his altar.

The fifth item placed in his altar was God figures and saints. These items are significant to him and to myself, because like I had stated, my uncle became very close to God and would always be at church. My uncle had God images everywhere, like his phone and his room. These items are significant to me and my family because my family is very in touch with God and are religious individuals so growing up that is what I was taught. God brings us hope, faith, and happiness, so I connected this to my uncle because I had a lot of hope for him to get better and healthy again. I also added rosaries because my uncle was had a rosary on his body and in his room. The rosary also reminded me of the time I saw him for the last time in his casket. It was a horrible feeling but I saw that rosary and I knew he was with his father, which is, God.

My uncle brought so much happiness to my life so that is why I added flowers in his altar as well. These flowers are significant because they mean life, love, and happiness to me. These flowers made the whole altar feel like home and welcoming. I choose orange and yellow flowers because it was the colors of fall and these colors were bright and vibrant to bring life to his altar. I added candles of the Virgin Mary and Jesus Christ to his altar and every day and every night I light up the candles to let him know I am always thinking of him and be will always be in my mind and my heart. The last item I added to his altar is a saint figure, who is very special to me and my family, that saint figure is named La Rosa Mistica. La Rosa Mystica is a blessed Mary who create miracles and gives individuals hope. My family always prays to her and miracles come true because of her. When my uncle was very sick, I would pray to La Rosa Mystica to help my uncle get better because I needed him in my life. La Rosa Mystica is very significant in his altar because she brought me peace during his sickness and after his death.

I had fun creating this altar for my uncle, I know he enjoyed his altar and he is happy I gave him a place of his own in our home. My mom had made an altar for him but did not include many things, so I fixed it up for my mother as well. When my mother saw my altar, she started to cry of happiness and told me that she knows my uncle is in heaven looking down on us and thanking us for remembering and celebrating his life. My uncle still lives in us and we will always have the best memories because of him and for that I thank him. The only downside of him not being here is that my children will never met him. I only can show them pictures of him and talk about the memories he gave me.

Week 13: Chicano History

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In this week’s reading, “Chicano History: An Oral History Approach” by Mario T. Garcia, he interviews a couple of people to understand their history. He argues that it is important to have first hand documentation of the Mexican experience in the United States. Mario states, “…innovative historians have begun to employ oral history techniques to compensate for non-existing working class documentation” (Garcia). This being so, Mario explains that they are techniques in order to perform a perfect interview. In the article, Ms. Donna Salazar has four interviews. Ms. Donna Salazar interviews two families, which were the Mendozas and the Sandovals. Ms. Donna Salazar interviews them about the Mexican life in the United States. Garcia states, ” It is important to analyze the interviews for both technique and content” (Garcia). Garcia explains that Ms. Donna Salazar fails to pay sufficient attention to chronology because it is sometimes difficult to understand interviewees historical periods.

Week 12: “Never Enough”

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The article, “Being Blaxican in L.A.” by Janice Llamoca, she talks about Walter Thompson-Hernández. Walter was born in Los Angeles and he was Black and Mexican, or which he calls himself, Blaxican. In the interview Walter explains that it was a struggle to understand his background and how he identified himself. Regardless of the struggles he faced he was comfortable with his race and his mixing. This brings me to an article I found by Philippe Leonard Fradet, which is, “Never Enough: Growing Up Mixed-Race with a Mix of Friends”. In this article, Philippe, explains that his father is white, and his mother was black and Native American. He explains that growing up many kids would ask him “what was he?”, as if he was an unidentifiable artifact. He describes that growing up, it was hard for him to come to terms with his racial identity. He explains that growing up it was tough to fit in with his friends because to some people, he was not “black” enough, and to other people, he was not “white” enough. He describes, “Even though some of my peers and elders saw me as “whiter” than others, I still faced a great amount of flack because of my darker skin, because of my tight and frizzy curls, and because I was half black and Native American” (Fradet, Web). He explains that he had no connection to his Native side, but he just wanted to be “Normal” like most of his friends. Philipe had to go through understanding that he was not different, he was just “Mixed-raced” and that was normal. He goes to conclude that he was just never enough and that just because he his Mixed-raced does not mean that his identity has to be lost.

Never Enough: Growing Up Mixed-Race with a Mix of Friends

Week 10: “The Rain God”

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“The Rain God” by Arturo Islas, is a novel about a Mexican family living in the United States of America. Islas writes about different characters in his novel, and first he starts off with Miguel Chico. Miguel Chico is the son of Miguel Grande and Juanita. Miguel Chico is the only family member to have a higher education and decides to go to College in San Francisco. Miguel Chico distances himself from the family, so the family raises suspicion towards him. Miguel Chico is not married, so his family suspects him of being gay. Miguel Chico’s father, Miguel Grande, did not allow him to play with dolls and wanted Miguel Chico to become a man due to Miguel Grande Macho-ness. Miguel Grande was an individual who was very patriarch. He was viewed as “head of the household” and his presence dominated all the family gatherings. although, Islas does not confirm of the character being gay, we can see that Miguel Chico suffers from sexuality in this novel. Some questions I have are, Why do you think the author, Arturo Islas, leaves us wondering if Miguel Chico was gay or not? Was it because many Chicano/s would not accept his book? Does the Chicano/a Family have an influence in this??

Week 8: “Seeker”

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Divided America

An article I found that relates to “Norma Cantú: A Chicana’s Life in Literature” was “Language and Identity Issues for Mexican-Americans” by Ruben Navarrette. Ruben discusses the same issues Norma does in her presentation. Ruben and Norma both address the language barrier they both struggled with living in the United States of America. Ruben states, “For many Mexican-Americans, two of their biggest hang-ups revolve around language and identity” (Navarrette, Web). I agree with his statement because being Mexican-American I am stuck between being Mexican or being America. I cant ever choose, so personally I feel disconnected and I do not know what is my identity.  This is an issue Norma addressed as well in her presentation. Norma address that at home she was in a poblana outfit and at school she was dressed in a cowgirl outfit, being that she was from Texas and the kids would dress that way. Norma states that the school socialized them into Texan culture because they were from Texas. Norma talks about forgetting our cultural identity, and how she feels connected to both countries, (U.S and Mexico). Ruben explains that he does not feel connected to either because, “In this country, we’re accused of not being American enough: south of the border, we’re accused of not being Mexican enough. We belong to both countries, yet to neither” (Navarrette, Web).

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2006/02/language_and_identity_issues_f.html

Week 8: “Collage Part 2”

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In the book, “Next of Kin”, by Richard Rodrigues, he talks about the Chicano/a family and also the structure of the family within a household. In his book Rodrigues analyzes kinship, and the family by explaining the structure between heteronormative and patriarchal discourses. In my collage, posted on the blog, I posted pictures of my family and I, because these pictures connected to the family structure discussed in Rodrigues book. My family is a traditional Mexican Family. My father came from a town called Tepatitlan in the state of Jalisco in Mexico. My father, Alfonso D. Herrera, was the fourth child out of twelve, from his siblings. My father was very attached to his mother, which is my grandmother due to my grandfather not always being there due to his infidelity. My grandfather was the worse father to my dad. My grandfather would tell my father that he was no good and a “nobody” so my dad wanted to prove his dad wrong, and at the age of 17 my father migrated to the United States of America to have a better life. Through the hardships with my dad’s father, my father said he learned how to become a better father than his father was to him and his siblings. In his family, they had a patriarchal structure and my grandmother was the one who was maintaining the house and taking care of the kids.

My grandfather had that “machismo” in him and he thought he was superior then my grandmother. He would beat my grandmother and still expect her to have the food ready when he got home. My father’s family was very poor, and the money my grandfather had he gave away to strangers, knowing that his own family was in need and was very bad economically. Unfortunately, my father did grow up with “Machismo” within his family structure and my sisters and I now have to live in a patriarchal system due to the family values implemented to him with his own family.

My mom, Silvia Cano (Herrera), came from Mexico as well but from a different state than my father. My mother was from Jacona, Michoacán. Jacona is a very small city in the state of Michoacán, but it was in the city so my mom was a city girl. My mom grew up without a father, due to my grandfather coming to America and finding another lady and had kids with her. My grandfather abandoned his wife and his six kids. My mother was the second oldest which made her drop out of school in the 3rd grade, because she needed to help my grandmother care for her siblings and help her do chores around the house. My mother was basically a mother to my aunt and uncles. My mother played a major role in their family, and was the head of the household since my grandfather abandoned them. My grandmother talks about him being a drunk and also wanting to picks fights with her and basically abusing her and forcing her to have sex. This also connects to my father’s story and to the readings we have been doing in the course. In his book, Rodrigues states, “Even if machismo and dominant patterns of masculinity are not one and the same thing, both ultimately affect members of the Chicano family” (Rodrigues, Pg.53). I can agree with his statement because machismo has played a big part in both of my parents families, and to this day I do see that Machismo and patriarchal structure in our family.

My parents married in 1981. My parents had four children together, which were Adriana, Alejandra, Aide, and Amy, which are all in my photo collage. Their children being all girls. My parents were very strict with all of us and made us understand that our gender did matter. To this day, gender roles do apply to our family and I do see patriarchy there. I say patriarchy because if I was a male my father would let me do many things that he does not let me do because I am a woman. An example would be staying out too late with my boyfriend. To this day, my father gets upset if I stay out longer than 12AM because he says I am a girl and girls should not do that because that is not lady like and others might view me as a “slut” or a “whore” and might take advantage of me. I take that very offensively because I do not understand why it would be okay to do that if I were a male instead of a female. This brings me to my dad being very macho and very in tune with his male dominance and having that “machismo” still in him. In his book, Rodrigues illustrates, “…given the fact that dominant masculinities have typically managed the way the family is constituted and enacted, if women and queers are to retain la familia and other kinship-based bonds as useful organizational categories…” (Rodrigues, Pg.14). I can connect to Rodrigues statement because I asked my dad if he would support me if I were ever to come out to him and my family as a “Lesbian” his answer was not what I expected it to be. He answered, “I would not be okay with that. None of my children will ever be gay. I would rather have you be a “whore” than a “Lesbian”. I was star stuck by his answer because I thought he would be supportive as a father and not fall into the regular gender roles society expects it to be. So now I know that being gay/lesbian would not be okay in my family and would not be acceptable. My father believes a man should be with a woman and a woman should be with a man so they can reproduce, which is the norm. This makes me think about gender dynamics and gender roles. It also made me think about how traditional my father is and how that is the way he was brought up to be, being that his father was a head strong male dominant figure in his life. Besides the disagreements I have with my parents, I still love them too death and I do understand where they come from and how they were brought out to be. I understand that the only reason why my dad is the way he is, is because he wants the best for his children and he wants to give them what he did not have.

Week 6: “Queer Aztlan”

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In this week’s reading, “Queer Aztlan” by Cherrie Moraga, she talks about herself, the Chicano Movement, The Gay/Lesbian/Transgender Movement and fitting into these movements despite what anyone said. Cherrie also brings up Chicana Feminism and how that helped her accept who she was. The into to her essay she explains that “Queer Aztlan” was being made in her mind for about three years with the help of Ricardo Bracho. Cherrie states, “We also talked about Chicano Nationalism, which never accepted openly gay men and lesbian among its ranks” (Moraga, pg. 225). To me, this statement she made was strong because I can imagine being in her place. She probably felt like she could not be open about her sexuality because she would be judged and not accepted within her own community and race. Cherrie and Ricardo talked that they needed a Chicano homeland that accepted all its people and their joteria (gayness). They came to a realization that maybe The Chicano Movement was dead. They believe this because for generations many Chicanos are dating and marrying non-Chicanos, the population goes down and they also forget their culture. Cherrie says that she “mourns” the dissolution of an active Chicano Movement for this reason. Another statement Cherrie brings up that stood out to me was, “If women’s bodies and those of men and women who transgress their gender roles have been historically regarded as territories to be conquered, they are also territories to be liberated” (Moraga, pg. 227). Because this is what Feminism is all about. Just like men want to be accepted as these Macho men, then women should also be liberated and accepted to be strong just like men. Gender roles should not be applied. What do you guys think???

Week 5. “Photo Collage”: “Mi familia es mi vida!”

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Mi Familia <3

Mi Familia <3

I chose these four pictures because these images our of all my family. Starting with the first image on the top left; which is my sisters, my parents, my nephews/niece, my brother in laws, and of course myself. This day was unforgettable because all my family was present and we all had a great time in the snow. The image on the bottom left; is my sisters and i. This picture is significant because these are all my siblings, which i care deeply about. The last two images on the right; are of my parents, then and now. I added these two images because they re the foundation of my family and because of their love, our family is very close and connected!

Week 4: “First Reader Post”

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Imagined Borders:

Locating Chicano Cinema America/Americaeth

In the book “The Ethnic Eye” chapter, “Imagined Borders: Locating Chicano Cinema America/America” by Chon A. Noriega, he describes the conflicts marks underlying conditions for the production of Chicano film and the critical discourse on them. Noriega explains the location of Chicano Cinema to the level of historic-graphic operation. He goes on to talk about Coco Fusco’s writing on Black and Latino media in the late 1980’s. Fusco’s writing talked about historical moments on “Minority” intellectual or cultural production. Noriega explains that Fusco flip flops on her position on location and this “dual location” became a methodology in which she reads against her main purpose of oppositional thinking and “minority” texts. This point makes Noriega question the function of “Chicano Cinema” within different categories which are Nationalist, and American, Pan-American to compare them in “Chicano Cinema”. Noriega also illustrates that Chicano Cinema developed not just in Hollywood and in New Latin America but through avant-garde traditions within Chicano cultural population. Noriega tells us that during the Chicano Civil Rights Movement a few Chicano students used this form of art to express how they feel. Noriega illustrates that the first Chicano film was “I Am Joaquin” (1967), and that it helped the Chicano Movement to represent the culmination of an intertexual dialogue between the movements rural and urban visionaries: Luis Valdez and Rodolfo Gonzales.