This is my family and what makes us a family.
The definition of family and its components are so broad. Family is what shapes every single one of us since the moment we take our first breath. Family isn’t just about blood but family is what each individual defines it to be. Family isn’t just about if you have a mom, dad, siblings and a dog. Family is about maybe having two moms, two dads, no parents, ten siblings, zero siblings, being adopted, single parents and perhaps a snake as a pet. Family is also what can break your heart but fix it as well. Sometimes the love for our family can affect how we go about the world. However, one thing is for sure and that is that family makes the world go around.
I don’t usually like to consider myself a child from a divorced family. However, my parents did get divorced when I was 20 and was still living with them. Unlike other people their divorce didn’t come as a tragedy but it came in the form of a blessing. I grew up in a violent home filled with fear and tears. My mother was in a physically abusive relationship for nine years until she got her green card and sent my dad (bottom right) to prison. Like the typical situations she got back with him because he promised change. Although the physical violence ended the verbal abusive was far worse. My mother never left him because she was always told she wouldn’t make it on her own. That she needed a man in her life if not she will live miserably alone. I remember before going to bed my mother would always tell me that no man should ever treat me the way my father treated her. She would tell my every day to stay in school so I can get an education and to be independent. I was in a verbally abusive home by own father yet, I still loved him with all my heart. It is crazy how you can love a man who causes so much pain. However, I knew I didn’t want them together. As much as I admired my mother I knew I didn’t want to be like her. I didn’t want to be oppressed by my Latino culture, I refused to succumb to the man’s machismo and I refused to be just a housewife. My mother was my anchor, my cheerleader and my motivation to succeed. As you can see in the upper left picture, my mother couldn’t be happier the day I got my AA in Psychology. That was all for her because I did it for her and I.
Aside from my mother, I strive to show my brothers that women are not to be treated as our father treated our mom. Growing up with younger twin siblings has got to be one of the best things in the world. We are only five years apart. As you can see in the bottom left picture I seem like the little sister instead. We would find refuge in our selves when our father would beat our mom. We would make promises that we would one day we’d take our mom and that they would never be like him. I felt like our rough childhood created this unbreakable bond between the three of us. I am amazed at my endless love for this two little humans. As we entered our teen years we discovered that we had a love for cars. In the middle of the bad we would find happiness in cars, talking about them, going to car shows and so much more. Both of my twin brothers are now in college and are happily pursing careers in the car industry. We like to reflect on how we all got a passion for cars since we were young. Even when we get together that is all we talk about. My mother says she had three cars instead of 3 humans. My brothers and I are inseparable. I love them more than I can explain in words, I would kill for them, I would go to prison for them. They are the definition of ride or die.
As you can tell I love my family. We have gone through so much together that you create a bond that can’t be broken. Unfortunately, as much as we try sometimes our past can negatively. One of my brothers shows signs of machismo which is where we tend to clash sometimes. The other one refuses to get married one day because he fears a failed marriage. Our family dynamic has influenced each one of us differently even though we went through the same exact thing. Family gives us strength, it shapes our present, it shapes our future, and is our motor that keeps us going. Thanks to my mother’s motivation I went to college, thanks to my dad’s machismo I dare to speak up and thanks to my brothers I know what love is.
