Week 6 Reader: Fighting Different Battles, Sharing a Common Goal

pic1In Next of Kin, Rodriguez emphasizes on the role that gay men take as members of society. An important point that Rodriguez makes is that gay men share similar conflict to lesbian women. They both have to adapt to a life where family reject them because they do not conform to the “norms”.  Rodriguez encourages gay men to speak up about issues of sexuality, and to speak up against subordination within the family. Rodriguez also discusses how femininity is looked down upon.

Carla Trujillo focuses on the Lesbian contribution within the Chicano society. Trujillo explains how Chicana lesbians are seen as a threat to the Chicano community because it disrupts the established order of male dominance. But is it really that they fear, or is it the “what would people say? “fear.

Trujillo explains how women are forced to suppress their sexual desires, and that talking about it is like a taboo. I never really notice this but I can connect it with my family and what we are allowed to speak about.

Whether, Chicanas or Africans, Lesbians have the courage to love both themselves and other women. They are able to acknowledge their sexuality, even though it goes against their culture, religion and social structure

I understand when Trujillo says that we live in a patriarchal society that devalues women, and when a lesbian women comes into the picture it challenges all aspects of “the perfect world run my men” Lesbians reject compulsory heterosexuality and this is a threat to men.

I find it ridiculous how a Woman is seen as only complete human beings when attached to a man and incomplete when they are not mothers. Chicanas have been socialized to believe that the sole purpose of their existence is to raise children. Being a mother is nothing bad in fact it is something beautiful, but when it is something that is only expected then it no longer is an experience.

Do you think that Chicana women become pregnant because they feel like that’s a Chicano fulfillment? Do women become mothers because they want to become mothers or because they genuinely believe that that is their purpose?  This makes me think about Chicano families having children when they are struggling in life?

I personally refuse to bring a child into this world knowing this child will see me struggle to pay rent, struggle to put food on the table. I refuse to make a child see me ask my family for help because I can’t afford to pay my bills.

Now I’m not saying that asking for help is bad, I just wouldn’t want my child to see me struggle. I am only 24, and I might be wrong, but maybe that’s just how I have been shaped by society and family. I do want to have children in the future, but not because it is expected from me, but because I truly want to take care of a child and raise a strong independent human being.

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Week 6 Reader: Fighting Different Battles, Sharing a Common Goal

  1. You asked a lot of important questions:
    Do you think that Chicana women become pregnant because they feel like that’s a Chicano fulfillment? Do women become mothers because they want to become mothers or because they genuinely believe that that is their purpose? This makes me think about Chicano families having children when they are struggling in life?
    I do not believe that Chicana women become pregnant because they feel like that’s a Chicano fulfillment. I think it is important to note that this idea of motherhood being fulfilling is not specific to the Chicano culture, for centuries society has put motherhood on a pedal stool for survival reasons and for a slight nod to how difficult it is to raise children. It is important to note that some women whether Chicana or another ethnicity can find fulfillment in bearing children but it is just as important to note that men too can find fulfillment in rearing children. This is why it is ever so important that we challenge those rigid gender norms that will have us believe that women mother and men work. The reality is that men and women can both avoid and/or find fulfillment in becoming parents. Which speaks to your second question: do women feel that motherhood is their purpose? Well I think that varies on a number of circumstances. In general I believe that motherhood is a choice, and that women should not be stigmatized for their choices. And on the last question of why Chicanos have children when they are struggling in life; I want to mention that is not just Chicanos who decide have children despite their inability to pay the rent and the bills. More importantly we need to see that Chicanos struggle for a number of reasons; racism both on a personal and structural level that create those experiences and the choice to not have children does not equal economic success.

  2. To answer your first question I do not think Chicana women get pregnant because it is a Chicano fulfilment. I don’t think that getting pregnant is specific to just the Chicano community. This ideology that women need to be mothers is found throughout multiple different cultures. To answer your second question I think that there are women who choose to be mother’s and there are also women who think that is there purpose. I know women who have chosen to get pregnant because they feel that they are ready. These women chose to get pregnant but we’re not forced to because of the idea that it is their purpose. However, I do know that some women get pregnant because they feel it is their purpose and role as a woman. Some of these women aren’t ready to have a child but they do in order to serve what they believe is their purpose. I have seen this type of situation a few times with newlyweds. A couple gets married and the wife gets pregnant soon after because she thinks her role as a wife is to be a mother. To answer your last question I think some of these families have children while struggling because they do not understand what they are getting themselves into. I think some of these families are unaware of all the struggles they will face. I agree with when you talk about not wanting to bring a child into a world where you are struggling. I believe that by bring a child into a place where he will be a part of the struggle is wrong.

  3. When you question regarding Trujillo argument on the fear that arose out of the Chicana Lesbian and if the overall threat to the Chicano community or fear of what others thought- the threat was real. Chicano nationalism had established a male dominance structure contributed to the overall disruption from the awareness of independence of women. Trujillo explains that self-love and understanding of one’s sexuality, Chicana women would be able to find their true self and accept being a lesbian by shedding traditional structure.
    Chicana women can possibly become pregnant because they feel like it’s a Chicano fulfilment because it has been first-hand experience within my own family. Some women feel that due to family pressures them to have children simply by the numerous times they are questioned about relationships or bearing children. Out of my adult first cousins, my siblings and myself are the only siblings without children and we are constantly asked when we will have babies. The small constant remarks about my single life and not having children can make one question of fulfilment of being a women. But then, we as siblings, do not follow the Chicano traditional views because we were raised in a strong Chicana single-mother household.
    Women become mothers for various reasons some by accident, in difficult situations, or could be planned out and determine to establish a relationship with a child. Women have babies sometimes unintentionally but the circumstances could make it transpire into something that is planned, but there is not a direct answer to your second question.

    Personal upbringing as my mother and father divorced when I was five and we lived in a one bedroom with up to six people living in it. Yes, it was a struggle but the long term view on the situation is that those struggles contributed to my character and my current perspective on life. I definitely do not want to suffer like my mother did but I saw her strength and direct influence on my education and goals. As a successful Chicana women obtaining a higher education in order to obtain a successful and healthy life those hardships and misunderstandings allowed prosperity within my siblings and myself. It’s all about understanding others mistakes and successes and learn to apply them as best within our lives and decision making.

  4. the question you asked stood out to me,”Do you think that Chicana women become pregnant because they feel like that’s a Chicano fulfillment?”. And I thought to myself, that is all girls are taught to be, children barring mothers. I think about what we do as young girls, watch movies of princess that marry and have children. Or the dolls and babies we are lead on to play with, or playing mommy and baby. Why is it that we are taught this? I do plan on marrying one day, and having children, but was it all embedded? I agree with your comment, of not having children and being economically unstable to handle it. I think if and when a women chooses to have a children, it is her choice and should never be pressured into having children.

  5. Do you think that Chicana women become pregnant because they feel like that’s a Chicano fulfillment? No, I don’t think Chicana women get pregnant because they feel like it’s a Chicano fulfillment. Although, I will say that if it was something that was common within a family then in a way yes BECAUSE it is something they are exposed to and don’t always know how to go away from that case however, there are many women who will go against all odds because they have seen first hand what that life is like. It depends on the person not ethnicity. Do women become mothers because they want to become mothers or because they genuinely believe that that is their purpose? Both there are women who feel they are born to be mother’s and take care of their children and go to the moon and back for their children. There are also women who believe that is what women are expected to do and sometimes to please others this is the result. Then, there are people who know they aren’t fit mothers and say no to having kids and sadly the have to justify for others their decision. This makes me think about Chicano families having children when they are struggling in life? Sadly, some people have the mentality that if they bring a child into this world then they have something to live for and be happy about but in reality they’re having that child for the wrong reasons and are making them struggle in life. but my mom always always says
    “It is never a child’s fault” and I believe this fits perfectly with your questions.

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